A Giant Sigh for Obstacles

Could also be titled: The Importance of Having a Studio...

 

In the summer, I flip flop (pun intended) between: resolving that I'm a lazy, unmotivated, unresourceful, uncommitted (non-) artist, and believing I honestly don't have the resources I need to exercise my creativity and sustain my (mini?) "business". In short: Am I failing as an artist because I'm cowardly or because I truthfully don't have what I need to succeed?

 

The answer is surely a mixture of both. When I really get upset is when I justify to myself that if I were 100% devoted to my work I would demolish any hurdles in my way out of pure passion for what I do. Yet, I don't do that. Am I being too tough on myself? I think the answer is yes.

 

It's not useful to compare oneself to a common conception of how they should be or what they should do in their personal or professional lives. A really smart teacher once taught me that

 

everyone has a different definiton of success,

 

and instead of comparing yours to that of others', it's more beneficial to really think about what success would mean to you and determine the steps to get there. Simple enough, right? Yeah, I've got that down. But what happens when you can't take the steps you've determined to get there?

 

Firstly, I don't have an art studio. I have a studio apartment to live in, it's 300 square feet or less and I like it neat. That's my personality. I've never been messy and I can't live well in an unkept area. That would cause a lot of anxiety to flow through my nerves and neither me nor the people around me on a daily basis would be very happy or relaxed. I max out my budget paying for this studio-- there's no extra $300-800 laying around for me to rent out another space. What does one do? I won't move. I live in the best looking, safest neighborhood in one of the best cities in the country and around the corner from where I work every day. No really, I'm open to suggestions.

 

In the past I've resolved to downsizing and dumbing down my process, but doing that does not make a happy artist, only a frustrated one. I've made small watercolor paintings that people seem to be attracted to. I plan at some point to sell those. But another current obstacle of mine is that I don't have internet access, I can't afford to buy it, and it's quite difficult to market without that.

 

I'll let you know what I come up with.

 

In the meantime... are you getting my tweets? Just because I don't make art as often as I'd like doesn't mean I ignore others who do. Follow me @kaylieabela on Twitter and Instagram. My most recent share: Montreal Celebrates Street Art. You wouldn't know it, but I LOVE graffiti and street art! Maybe that's my answer! Start up some street art in Boston!